They Did It Their Way

Rage

Hi

My name is Daniel

I am a Rageaholic.

I escaped Alcoholism even though my

family were Alcoholics for generations.

I escaped Drug addiction even though

½ my family this generation are Addicts.

But; there is one aspect of Alcoholism

and Addiction that I did not escape.

Rage.

Working as a Program Assistant at a

Residential Chemical Dependency

Treatment Facility, I have heard clients

unanimously describe the rages they

experience with their disease.

I always felt an outsider among these

men as I am not Alcoholic nor Addict.

Yet at the same time I am one of them

because of the Rage.

I listen as they read from the Big

Book, and tell their stories at AA and

NA meetings; I read all the material

they read, and I see me.

In the 12 steps, 12 promises, and in

the 12 traditions; I find hope, and

solutions for me; a person who is not

one of them yet in some way is the same.

In these past months as I strive to

serve these men who like me are cast

out by society; I have prayed and

dreamed of a program like AA and Na

for people like me.

I thought no such program existed

other than Anger Management which

though it does do good in some form

just does not work in the long term.

Recently; I found an organization

online called Rageaholics Anonymous.

This organization and it’s material

are based on the AA and NA programs

and their 12 Traditions, 12 steps, and

12 promises; and adapted for people

like me who suffer from uncontrolled

and untreated Rage.

People like me who unlike Alcoholics

and Addicts; are not addicted to a

substance outside our bodies which

with the help of AA and NA we are

able to avoid; we have actually

become addicted to a chemical that is

produced every second of every day

right inside our own bodies.

Adrenaline; and the feeling of power

it produces is our illness and our

enemy.

We cannot stop or even limit it’s

use any more than we can stop or limit

our own breathing; to do so is death;

real death not merely perceived death.

It is ever present; building up, just

waiting for a weak moment, unnoticed

or unexpected trigger to set it free.

Once it is set free; it does not matter

how hard we fight it, it does

not matter how peaceful or calm we

usually are.

We; just like The Hulk; become no more

than a monster destroying anything and

yes sometimes anyone who crosses our

paths.

Sometimes we are fully aware of our

actions but are not able to stop; sort

of like something or someone else has

taken control of our bodies.

Sometimes it’s like before we blink;

we are talking to someone normally;

then blink and when we open our eyes

our fists are coming down hard on

the person we were talking to.

Generally this person is someone we

love and would give our life to protect.

We are always sorry, we will always

apologize, we always say it will never

happen again, and we are always very

sincere in our apology and mean it

from deep in our hearts.

But; no matter the sincerity, no

matter how hard we fight it, no

matter how much we promise; it

always happens again.

We lose respect, freedom, job, family.

and no matter how hard we try; no one

ever fully trusts or feels safe with

us again.

I have always said that the best thing

my wife ever done for herself, our

children, and especially me was when

she took our children and left.

She was not coming back and she was

not looking back.

I went to visit my daughter once and

looked into my wife’s eyes; eyes that

once were full of life, beauty, and

light.

Those eyes were now cold, dark, empty,

and void of life.

I had beaten all that beauty out of

her; there was no feeling, no emotion,

nothing at all left in those eyes.

I knew at that moment that I was the

problem.

I could no longer blame her or others

for my actions; there was only one to

blame and that was me.

I needed help; but through what avenue

was that help to come.

Anger Management; both court ordered

and voluntary helped in the short term

and in the initial steps but it only

addressed the action; not the person.

AA and NA material and groups at work

offer some hope, some light shining in

the dark; but as stated before, I am

technically an outsider in those groups

and they are not geared towards my

particular demon.

RA or Rageaholics Anonymous is a spark

of hope in the distance; but there are

no groups locally.

I will pray though, I will hope, and I

will keep pushing and someday, maybe

this hope, this light will arrive here

for those like me.

For now I shall glean what hope and

future I can from AA and NA; for at

this moment in time it is they and the

men in treatment, those who have become

my friends that are my hope, my hint of

light shining in the darkness.

                  Daniel P                        

LOVE

Instead of shining the light on someones sin; Shine it on their glory . then maybe they will be better able to see the path and return to  righteousness.

Quest, Deshawn, & Reggie: Precious Memories of lives lost too soon

On Monday July 11, 2011 AT 03:30 AM
in a fatal crash; Oil City, Pa lost Three
of it's most valuable resources.
Quest Morgan-Green.
Deshawn Harris.
Reggie Brown Jr.
The most valuable resource any community
can have is it's youth, but youth is not thee
reason these three were so valuable.
The reason is something even more precious,
something very few adults ever posess and
only those youth whom fate would make great
ever realize in their own lives before becoming
adults themselves.
Quest, Deshawn, and Reggie posessed an
outlook on life and an influance on others so
positive and strong that they changed forever any
life that happened to come under their special
brand of influance.
On first impression you probably wouldn't have
given these boys much credit for being upstanding
citizens, most people focused on their weaknesses
and completely missed their strengths, that special
gift to the world sent by GOD himself.
But if you were brave enough, wise enough, or
fortunate enough to allow them into your life for
even a short moment; they would change the way
you saw life forever.
I have been reading and listening with much interest
over the past few days to all the stories and memories
of these three amazing youth.
Jennifer Wagner, Amanda Wagner, Crystal Markley,
and Cheyenne Paden spoke with me of their memories
of theser boys.
Jennifer remembers going to camp Boumont in Ohio
with them.
Camp Boumont is a camp for underprivilaged kids.
she remembers especialy how Deshawn was the nicest
kid there, He allways went out of his way to protect
the other kids from bullies.
Deshawn would take a stand for them whenever he
saw them being mistreated.
He did not respond to the bullies tactics in kind but
tried to talk, reason, and explain why they should not
be picking on the other kids.
If it was nesesary he would place himself physicaly
between the bullie and their victim to stop the
agression.
Jennifer said Deshawn loved his sisters and would do
whatever it took to help take care of them.
Also if you happened to be in a bad mood; Deshawn
would get right up in your face with only centimeters
between you and him and start making weird faces
and strange noises untill you could not hold it in any
longer, you could not help but bust out laughing.
If you tried to turn your face away from him he would
move right along with you keeping his face with your
face. there was no escape from his insistant
requirement of happiness for everyone around him.
Both jennifer and Amanda recall how Quest would
do crazy things to make people smile.
If you were in a room with Quest and he noticed you
were not smileing or having a good time; He would
spontasniously break into some weird dance right
in front of you and he would keep it up untill you
gave in and smiled.
Quest and Deshawn neither one could tolorate any
unhappiness in the lives of any one around them.
They felt it their personal mission in life to bring


Continue reading on Examiner.com Precious Memories: Quest, Deshawn, & Reggie - Erie Christianity | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/christianity-in-erie/precious-memories-quest-deshawn-reggie#ixzz1SCEMZ2KE

A Pastors Wife, A Bottle Of Water, And A Lesson In Love

As I was waiting for the GoBus last week
in Franklin; I sat in the Buffalo Street
Gazebo enjoying the warm sunny weather
that we all have waited so long for.
As I listened to the others talking while
we waited for the Bus to arrive, I watched
across the street as this old man come
walking out of the ally from Liberty street
next to the house where the Pastor of the
Methodist Church across the street lived.
The old man walked around to the front
steps of the Pastors house and sat down on
the top step as calmly as if he himself
lived there.
MORE

GOD really does reward those who do his will - Erie Christianity | Examiner.com

GOD really does reward those who do his will - Erie Christianity Examiner.com

Bin Ladin Killed

"Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and let not your heart be glad when he stumbles."


--Proverbs 24:17